I recently moved from Boston, the nicest place on the planet (ha!), to San Francisco, actually a contender for Top 5 on that list (or so I thought).
During my time here, I have recognized two main ways in which people in California differ from their Bostonian counterparts: 1) People will randomly talk to you on the street, instead of shoving you out of their way; 2) people don’t fake-attempt to hit bikers on the street! That last one might be because half of SF is full of bike junkies, but let’s get back to the point. Surprisingly, these two polar opposites have one clear thing in common: There is no chivalry on public transportation, or any manners at all.
We’ve all heard the expression “chivalry is dead.” We’ve all probably discussed it at some point, too. Now, whatever you’re thinking, I urge you to take a moment to think not about Merriam-Webster’s definition of ‘chivalry,’ but the idea behind the term. Even more so, think about what it takes to be chivalrous: when and where can you be chivalrous, and even more importantly, how.
I’ll give you a good when and where: public transportation. Before I get to the how, though, I’d like to clarify that if you think men are the only ones who can/should be chivalrous, you might as well go back to the 14th century. Sorry ladies, you can’t be the ones pointing fingers anymore.
Allow me to elaborate: If it weren’t for those signs mandating everyone leave certain seats free for senior and disabled citizens, would you still give up your seat? Seriously, think about it. My hope for humanity inclines me to think many people would say yes, but my observations say otherwise. On the packed bus that I have to take to and from work every day, many times there aren’t enough reserved seats for senior citizens on the bus.
How many times have I seen anyone (of either sex) give up their seat to an old lady struggling to hold onto both pole and purse? None. Embarrassingly, I have to admit I haven’t done it either. I thought, cowardly, “Well, there are others closer to her and it would be awkward because there are people in the way. Someone else will do it.” I waited, hopefully, until my stop (which was close). Wrong.
Wait, I thought people in California were nice. I would expect this behavior from anyone in Boston because, well, they are everything but nice (at least when it comes to transportation). I have seen this more than once, but it isn’t the only example. This afternoon, some apparently urgent guy who couldn’t get in past the driver due to the crowded bus decided to scream to those in the back (of the 60-foot accordion-bus) to move back and make space. After a couple of screams, some dude at the back screamed back saying it was full, followed by a big “Why don’t you get your damn ass over here and see for yourself, asshole!”
I don’t mean to say people in either side of the country are mean, but that when it comes to buses and trains, it seems manners and consideration for others are non-existent. Yes, maybe getting a seat in the bus during rush hour is rare, but think of the large payment you will deposit into the karma bank by giving it to someone else. I surely will give up my seat to the old lady next time. The question is, will you?
Álvaro is originally from Puerto Rico and is currently a junior at Tufts University studying Cognitive Brain Science and Entrepreneurship. You can follow him on twitter (@ajsoltero) and read his blog at aliveandtweeting.com.
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