PFLAG “Steps Up” To Make Things Better For LGBT Youth
On May 16, Greater Boston Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays will be hosting its annual spring fundraiser to honor some inspiring individuals and raise money for the equality-fostering programming carried out by PFLAG. The event, which will be held at 6 p.m. at the Kelleher Rose Garden in the Back Bay Fens, will bring in about 700 attendees, including some high-profile Boston families, to help spread the word and keep the dollars coming.
The theme of this year’s event, “Step Up! Stop the Bullying and Make it Better NOW!” comes as a sort of response to the ’It gets better’ campaign that has become the golden standard in encouragement for LGBT youth.
“No one should have to wait years or any amount of time for it to get better,” said Greater Boston PFLAG Executive Director Pam Garramone. “We have power to make it better now.”
PFLAG has indeed been making it better for countless LGBT youth and their families for the past 20 years. Through their family support groups, trainings in corporate, religious, or health/care settings, and their acclaimed Safe Schools Program, which educates teachers, staff and students at middle and high schools, PFLAG has provided education and understanding about LGBT issues and encouraged people to stand up and become allies and advocates for LGBT youth.
“Our audience is mostly straight people,” said Garramone. “Our mission largely is activating and inspiring allies.”
Activating and Inspiring Allies
This rings true for Deborah Peeples, the current President of the Board of Directors of Greater Boston PFLAG, who got involved after her then daughter came out as transgender.
“I had no understanding of gender identity and I didn’t see it coming,” said Peeples. “I was struggling with trying to support my new son and at the same time was experiencing a sense of loss for the life of my daughter. It was a terribly isolating experience.”
“Once I found PFLAG, it was life changing to be able to connect with other parents who were sharing the same experiences and feelings,” said Peeples.
PFLAG’s support groups for parents of transgender or gender-variant children have more than quadrupled over the past three years, with demand continuing to grow. They helped Peeples to understand the concept of gender identity and the idiosyncrasies of proper pronouns and how to facilitate a name change. And hearing from other parents, she said, restored hope that her child would still be able to live a happy life, her main concern all along.
Peeples could not help but become an advocate. She trained to be a speaker, giving talks with her son, Gabe, about their experience, and eventually joined the Board of Directors.
For Joan Parker, the Cambridge-based social activist, philanthropist and widow of the late author Robert B. Parker, teaming up with Greater Boston PFLAG happened a little differently. Parker’s two sons were grown men and well out of the closet when she started her work with PFLAG.
“The mission of family acceptance and stopping the bullying resonated with me,” Parker said.
She had already begun her journey with the organization because of her desire to get involved and pay it forward, but when she heard for the first time her own grown sons recount stories of being bullied in their youth, she was all hands on deck.
“It’s so devastating to hear those memories discussed around bullying and their lives in middle and high school, to think that they were going through this,” said Parker. “I redoubled my interest and passion to help PFLAG with their mission and to help them raise money.”
Parker will be co-chairing the event along with Holly Safford, Founder and President of Boston’s The Catered Affair, who also has two gay sons. Governor Deval Patrick, Mayor Menino, and their respective wives, will be honorary co-chairs. And another prominent Boston family will be featured at the event.
Event to Honor Obama Fundraiser Rufus Gifford and Parents
Rufus Gifford, the record-breaking Finance Director for the Obama for America Campaign will be honored along with his mother Ann Gifford, and father, former CEO of Bank of America, Chad Gifford. Although Rufus was not on the books for policy work while fundraising furiously on the President’s campaign, he is largely considered an informal LGBT ambassador and a leader in the community. Rufus Gifford told EDGE that he never planned on that happening, but he is very out and proud.
“When you have that mantle and everyone knows you’re gay and you’re a positive person, senior staff members and the LGBT community start to look to you to move issues along,” said Gifford.
Gifford wasn’t always so out and proud. In fact, he said when he was young he didn’t have any gay role models and stayed in the closet until college. When he did come out his family, having no prior knowledge of the LGBT community, turned to PFLAG for answers and support.
“You hear stories about kids coming out and their parents taking them to therapy,” said Gifford, “My family’s love was so strong that they all went to therapy. It wasn’t overnight, but PFLAG helped to move them forward.”
The Gifford family, Parker and Safford have been strong counterparts, fundraisers and activists for PFLAG, working toward ending the rejection that around 80 percent of LGBT youth experience when coming out to their families and on stopping the bullying of LGBT kids that has become so rampant in schools.
The Gifford family’s transition from ignorance to knowledgeable, loving advocacy is one that has inspired many and one which PFLAG is proud to share and honor at the May 16 event.
Students Win Safer Schools Scholarships
A group of promising young students will be honored as well, when they are each presented with Elsie Frank Scholarship Awards for their individual work in making schools safer for LGBT students. The six winners were chosen out of over 100 applicants and are made up of LGBT youth as well as straight allies.
“These kids are fighting big odds, taking on administrators and homophobic peers to do what’s right,” Garramone said of the scholars.
PFLAG encourages everyone to take a cue from these civil-minded young people, to step up and become advocates. Gifford and Peeples both advised that talking openly and positively about LGBT friends and family members helps increase familiarity and acceptance in the general population, making the world a little safer and a little better for your LGBT loved one.
“Society as a whole benefits when people share their personal stories,” said Gifford.
Stories, laughs, food and drink will be shared at the Greater Boston PFLAG event, along with the triumphant feeling of supporting a noble cause.
To purchase tickets or to learn more about Greater Boston PFLAG, visit www.gbpflag.org.
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