After weeks of repeated pomp and circumstance, commencement season has finally come to a ceremonious close here in the Hub. The tassels have been turned, mortarboards thrown and fuzzy platitudes dished out by semi-famous speakers who, more or less, followed a formula.
The last month hasn’t been without its headline-worthy moments, however, 14 of which we couldn’t resist rounding up so you could relive the horror, and hilarity, of the celebratory season again and again.
LL Cool J Became a Doctor
Northeastern University awarded the rapper-turned-NCIS: Los Angeles star with an honorary degree in early May. Of course he fell victim to a commencement selfie, but only after he performed with the school’s student a capella group, The Nor’easters.
Our beat-boxer @Beejul_K cheesin’ with @llcoolj on stage at the Garden. #NU2014 pic.twitter.com/190tzTBb6y
— The Nor’easters (@NUNoreasters) May 2, 2014
Jimmy Page Chatted for All of Five Minutes
The Led Zeppelin guitarist tossed his speech aside before addressing the Berklee College of Music’s Class of 2014. “Here I am,” he said. “I’m a sort of busking musician trying to busk my speech.” And that speech lasted for not even six whole minutes. See for yourself:
Jay Leno Shared His 20 Rules of Show Business
The late-night comedian returned to his alma mater, Emerson College, to address this year’s graduates. While there, he shared his 20 rules of show business, 12 of which we already shared. Tune in for the other eight, all delivered in no particular order.
Teaser: “Try not to get a regular job. When you have a regular job, you wind up acting like regular people. And if you graduate from here, you are not a regular person.”
Christine Lagarde Backed Out of Her Speech at Smith College
The chief of the International Monetary Fund decided not to visit the all-women’s school, citing protests from faculty and students. Lagarde told Smith President Kathleen McCartney that she wanted “to preserve the celebratory spirit of commencement day,” but not everyone agreed with her choice to step down from the podium, including McCartney.
Brandeis Had Some Bad Luck, Too
Jill Abramson, the first female executive editor of the New York Times, was supposed to receive an honorary degree from Brandeis University. Well, that was until she was fired by Publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. over concerns about her management of the newsroom. Following the announcement, Abramson contacted Brandeis President Frederick Lawrence, who told the community:
I regret to tell you … that Jill Abramson informed me today, given the circumstances this week in her life, that she is not going to be coming to receive her honorary degree.
Abramson’s decision not to attend came after Brandeis opted not to award an honorary degree to Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a women’s rights advocate who called the Islam religion “a destructive, nihilistic cult of death.” Hirsi Ali responded by accusing the university of stifling free speech.
Better luck next year, Brandeis.
Bill Nye the Science Guy Called Out Conspiracy Theorists
When everyone’s favorite science guy had the opportunity to speak at UMass Lowell, he took the time to remind graduates about the importance of climate change. “There are great many claims that climate change is a hoax,” Nye said. “Climate change is happening. … Conspiracy theories are for lazy people — people who don’t want to get down to the business at hand.”
No One Listened to Governor Patrick
Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick delivered a great commencement speech at Boston University. He spoke about the power of real human connection and urged the Class of 2014 to put their tablets and smartphones aside. Too bad that, while he was delivering those words, students were caught texting and tweeting on camera.
Luckily, Patrick had prepared for that. “Giving a commencement address is a high honor, but a tough assignment,” he opened, “when you know, as I do, that few of you are listening and none of you will remember a single word I say.”
There Was an Arrest
Prior to Patrick’s speech, Andrea Massa, a 28-year-old from Marshfield, Mass., was arrested for carrying two handguns into the ceremony. Massa, who was attending his sister’s graduation ceremony, allegedly created a disturbance before a security checkpoint, which WHDH-TV news reporter Adam Harding happened to catch:
1 of 2 guns guy was carrying at BU commencement pic.twitter.com/lE7K37LG5D
— Adam Harding (@AdamHardingNews) May 18, 2014
This is the man arrested for allegedly carrying two guns onto BU campus, wife confirms. Pic courtesy @MetroBOS#7newspic.twitter.com/AY0HVgIr49
— Adam Harding (@AdamHardingNews) May 18, 2014
John Kerry Referenced Beyoncé
The U.S. Secretary of State addressed Boston College graduates. And the only thing you really need to know is that when comparing rivalries, both political and social, he said:
As Secretary of State, I track many factions and rivalries around the world. BC versus Notre Dame is at the top of my list. Of course, there’s also Alec Baldwin versus the NYPD. Beyoncé’s sister versus Jay Z.
Kerry garnered some giggles with that one.
Charlie Day Delivered, Hands-Down, the Best Speech
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia actor Charlie Day returned to his alma mater, Merrimack College, and delivered the best commencement speech of the season. He told graduates their degrees will “basically do nothing.” And then, “My lesson is this: I don’t give a shit.” The rest of his address? Equally as magic.
A Couple Got Engaged
At Clark University’s commencement, one couple got engaged. And it was precious.
Mindy Kaling Called Harvard Law School Grads “Nerds”
The comedic actress of The Office and The Mindy Project fame returned to her native Cambridge for Harvard Law School’s Class Day ceremony. In her speech, which was unsurprisingly humorous, she acknowledged, “One of you will sort out the details of my prenup. A dozen of you will help with my acrimonious divorce, and one of you will fall in love in the process.”
Aretha Franklin Dominated Harvard’s Commencement
Sure, former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg delivered a great speech and all, but the Queen of Soul crushing the National Anthem is what won the day.
MIT Students Got Nerdy With Their Mortarboards
Are you surprised? Only at MIT would you see this:
