So, in light of Tuesday’s series finale that will likely bring America to tears, we’re honoring Parks and Rec‘s leading lady as the most dominant, self-confident, DGAF character on TV. Here are all the times Leslie Knope just got us.
1. On cheating: “I took your idea and made it better.”
2. On conduct: “Sit tight? Take a beat? Relax? I don’t really do any of those things.”
3. On self-actualization: “I would like a glass of red wine, and I’ll take the cheapest one you have because I can’t tell the difference.”
4. On culture: “I am not singing ‘Beauty School Dropout.’ It’s sexist and I don’t do slow jams.”
5. When it’s Monday:
6. Tuesday: “When you hear them talk about that blond pain in the ass—that’s me.”
7. Wednesday: “Hey, Leslie. It’s Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.”
8. Thursday:
9. Friday: “I am gonna get drunk, and then I’m gonna order a three course meal where each course is made of dessert.”
10. Saturday: “Everything hurts and I am dying.”
11. Sunday: “Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?”
12. On rich people: “Oh my God, I wonder who else was born in Eagleton. Voldemort probably.” (Poehler actually said once that Lexington is the Eagleton to Burlington’s Pawnee.)
13. When being supportive: “You’re pretty cocky for someone whose job is obsolete because of the internet.”
14. On human interaction: “What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”
15. On politics:
16. On friendship: “I need you to text me every 30 seconds saying that everything is gonna be OK.”
17. On dating: “Guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something.”
18. …“Oh, so just because I can’t go out with him, someone else can? Wow.”
19. …“One time I was dating this guy for a while and he got down on one knee and he begged me to never call him again.”
20. …“Every time a couple gets married, two single people die.”
21. On sports:
22. On movie goals: “50 percent more love, 75 percent more action, 125 percent more stunts, and 250 percent more explosions.”
23. On dieting: “I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.”
24. On drugs: “Turns out there wasn’t any pot in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.”
25. On priorities: “Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.”
26. On Blake Lively’s Boston accent:
27. When driving: “The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!”
28. …“Look, I have been very civil. But I will waterboard you.”
29. …“I take those burning coals, I shove them back down their throats and I watch their melting flesh drip off their worthless faces.”
30. On vegetarianism: “Well, there are a lot of people that don’t consider salad a food.”
31. When the forecast says snow:
32. When it actually begins to snow:
33. On being a commuter: “I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.”
34. When riding the T:
35. On being a good sport: “Winning is every girl’s dream. But it’s my destiny. And my dream.”
36. On sexual encounters:
37. On Harvard: “Math is pointless in real life. I mean there’s an app for calculating tips, that’s all you need.”
38. On the Red Sox: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to endorse 10 beers into my mouth because this has been an incredibly stressful evening.”
39. On policy: “I believe assault should be legal if the person is a jerk.”
40. On existentialism: “Well that’s great and everything, but unfortunately you should all know that it doesn’t matter because nothing matters because life is pointless.”
41. On that scene in Gone Girl:
42. When being affectionate: “Jerry’s face is the symbol of failure.”
43. When being friendly: “Jerry, did you use permanent marker again? Let’s all pretend Jerry wasn’t born.”
44. On diligence: “I’m gonna go fall asleep on a bench.”
45. On being chill:
46. On making sense of things: “You don’t even know one thing! I didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and I didn’t even do it once!”
47. On college kids: “That’s style now, Ron. It’s called lollipopping. All the kids are doing it.”
48. On being a person: “It’s so hard to read when you’re drunk.”
49. On people who utilize space savers:
50. When speaking to middle-aged people: “You have plenty of jeans.”
51. On the ideal man: “He has the brains of George Clooney in the body of Joe Biden.”
52. On being chic: “Do you have, like, a first date outfit I could borrow? Like, I don’t know, a pair of cargo pants.”
53. When you truly DGAF:
